Although it's mid-March, my escapades so far in this big bold beautiful new year have prevented me from announcing its name until now. Hello 2015, Year of Radiance!!!
Radiance, as defined in the google dictionary, is "light as emitted or reflected by something". In the Year of Radiance, I want to do just this! I learned during the rather dark and occasionally forceful 2014, that the very most important thing any of us can do to better ourselves, our loved ones, and this planet, is to love ourselves more. This requires super disciplined self awareness and an internal rewiring of epic magnitude.
At first I thought this sounded selfish. I feared I might become fully arrogant, stuck-up, and self-obsessed. Observing myself however, I noticed that in those moments where I loved myself more, when I really felt good inside, I had so much more love to give to my family and friends, more energy, more creative ideas, and much more patience with little things, like the slow person in line in front of me at the store. I was less judgmental overall and more accepting of others in situations that would usually annoy the fire out of me. When I realized this, I knew there was something important about loving ourselves more.
It used to be external factors that would cause this kind of self-love high, like a new job or new boyfriend or getting an award or achievement of some kind. But in the bluntly instructional year of 2014 I learned to shift my focus inward, knowing that if I let my self-love depend on external factors it would be continuous ups and downs for the rest of my life. I learned through bath-tub meditations, long beach walks, and beautiful quiet times that I can love myself, I am worthy of loving myself, even if nothing "big" or external is happening in my life. It all started with unwinding from self-bashing.
My perfectionist inside wants me to be perfect in the eyes of every single human being on the planet at all times (that's about 7 billion different perspectives). It likes to yell at me when I don't do something right, or could've done something better, or should've done or shouldn't've done... And whenever this perfectionist gets the floor I feel horrible. I notice then I dislike other people more, have extreme impatience with the smallest things, and the slow person in front of me in line BETTER WATCH OUT! I might just say something - and I have! And when I do oh can you imagine what the perfectionist says then?!
I am smiling because this perfectionist and I have become friends, finally. One by one, statement by statement, should by should, I became aware of this voice and listened instead of ignoring, backhanding, or otherwise resisting it. It was hard at first because I was so used to it's incessant attacks that I would not even notice it there, not until it was really strong or painful. But I began to notice it, listen to it, and then accept it. Kind of like I'd say, "I hear you. I can totally see why you'd want to yell at me like that. It makes sense after so many years of the intense training you've received from our culture and social norms. Thank you for wanting me to be the best human being alive." Each time I addressed the perfectionist with this kind of acceptance, it would soften.
At a certain point my body started getting used to this new vibration I was establishing. Now when the perfectionist comes up it is so super-exposed I almost have to sit down, I become so energetically zapped for the moment. I feel the negativity in my physical body, which allows for an instant awareness of what's going on so I can accept the perfectionist, give more love to myself, and have it resolved much more quickly.
My biggest desire for this year is to emit Light! I want each interaction with everyone and anything that enters my field to feel the light! I see this happening through music, singing, dancing, traveling, creating, sharing, and seeking and I love it. Another desire for this year is to reflect Light! Each of us is a brightly burning self-empowered sun! This radiance is our divinity within - what a gift that we don't have to THINK about staying alive, keeping our heart beating at night while we sleep, because we're naturally doing it, each of us a divinely-supported being! I love the idea of when I look at you I see me reflected, and when you look at me you see you reflected.
How will you live this 2015 year of Radiance? Maybe start by gazing at the radiant gift that is our beautiful sun in the picture above from this morning. Can you see the flock of birds? My entire body was tingling in awe and honor to witness such a spectacular entrance of March 13, 2015. Feel this in your own body by breathing in this light, and knowing you are divine and a most brilliant, shining, and radiant gift of a human being!
All love and magic mornings forever!!!