I was in my first ever spin class yesterday. This is a fun name for an activity that should be entitled: Torture On A Stationary Bike. The first 30 minutes felt like 8 hours, and in each slow second I vowed to myself I would never get anywhere near another spin class as long as I was on Earth. In addition to the aerobics (using muscles in ways I have never), the pain in simply sitting was excruciating. Sitting moments seem like they would be restful, or at least pain-free, but the device was a sharp, bruise-building, bone-grinding, "saddle", as the instructor kept calling it. Saddle?!?! Oh how I yearned for the wonderful wide western saddle of my horseback riding lessons, to cup my cheeks and spare me the burning bruises growing in such tender areas...
Halfway in, I noticed I was talking to myself. I was saying to my aching body, "I'm doing this for you." And I said back to me, "I'm pedaling for you". And suddenly I was overwhelmed with love - for my incredibly hard working body and the super effort I was giving to myself. There, in my spot on the only bike in the back row of the darkened, music-pumping room, I loved me! I even laughed out loud in delight! For the rest of the class I rode standing up, I sang out loud to the choruses of songs I recognized, and created a way to dance-pedal, which turned out to be almost fun! Almost.
I realize that often I don't give myself credit for all that I am doing for personal growth and enhancement. Here's another opportunity for self-acceptance! (Clearly this is the theme for September!) It's so tricky to remember to do it, purely because it's not a habit, nor taught in our culture as we've already discussed, and yet every time I accept myself more I slip into a happy light bliss and shine brightly wherever I am - including the depths of a spin class torture chamber!
One truth that I see over and over confirmed, is this: the brighter we shine from the inside, the better we can serve, help, and support those we love. If I shine brightly I can fulfill my personal mantra, "take 'em higher, leave 'em better". When I shine, I really am shining for the world.
May you spin through your torture-moments and SHINE in your awareness of how awesome you are right this split second!
Love and golden abundance,